Growing Up
So many of the lessons I have learned, I have learned in the past few years.
The roadmap to the answers has always been there, but the will and self-love were missing.
Living with fear, shame and insecurities do not create a healthy environment for a Soul evolving.
But then I became "Mom" and everything that I thought I was began to be rearranged. Although "Mom" is just a role that I play; this is a performance of a lifetime. It is molding me into a character that is more whole than ever before. Being whole does not mean perfect. And learning lessons never ends. Pretty early on in motherhood I realized something about myself. I was not a grown up, I was just a disoriented human in a big body. So then, the questions came...
How could I be a guide to little people if I was always lost?
How can I teach self love if I had no idea how to demonstrate it?
How could I show them kindness when my heart was closed in an act of self-protection?
How do I model empathy when I am more concerned about being hurt than helping another?
How do I keep their spark shining bright, when I am too busy camouflaging my own to please others?
Eventually the answers came. They came because I unblocked their entrance. They flowed into me like a forgotten wisdom, like a spell was broken. A life saved through self-discovery, I lost the pain of letting go... the pain that hurts so beautifully that it transforms you into a whole new being. A being so free that its very existence is an act of rebellion, open to all the truth it happens to fall upon.
The feeling persons guidebook is not something I, or anyone can write about. It’s not the same for any of us. It is found in our own hearts...in our own time and own way. When we decide to turn off the TV and go look at the stars. When we decide to stop looking to others for the answers and learn how to seek our own questions. A prophecy just waiting to be fulfilled and a step closer to changing the world, by beginning with your own. A new reality exists when you shed your old clothes and walk around with an exposed heart. Becoming rearranged, from the inside out. Blood is shed to cleanse old wounds, tears are released to clear blockages.
Beware all who fear the wild unknown. For we are here. We howl at the moon until our bones can feel the Earth. We dance around the fire of our Soul so fiercly; that we shake loose all that exists to cage us. We no longer give a damn about what that looks like to anyone, anywhere. We are free to be real... because that is what we choose. We are growing up and finding our way.